I have asked myself this question countless times, WHY AM I SINGLE? I am sure many of us would have asked ourselves too. There was a time I would think it was because of the way I looked but then we should all conclude that beauty and being in love go hand in hand. No! Beauty is relative.
Or you think you're single because you're financially unstable? Well, could be a reason but then love is not material. Do you think you're single because of your past? You think no one is going to love because of something that has happened to you like rape, physical abuse, well you could be single as a result of that because you haven't found someone who loves you enough to deal with it or you haven't dealt with it yourself.
You are not single because you are ugly, financially unstable, or because you are not good enough. You are good enough for true love, you deserve to be happy, you deserve someone who would love you, you deserve a happily ever after.
From my experiences, I have come to conclude that there are two major reasons why people are single: you are not ready, or you're ready but you haven't found the right person who would accept you the way you are (stop searching).
When our relationships go wrong and things don't work out the way we want as humans we are quick to blame the other party as to why it couldn't work, I am not saying It is wrong to cast blame, I mean I have played the blame game for a long time and it backfires. When we put blame on others it stops us from seeing things from their own perspective.
The relationship might have gone wrong because of what you are doing either consciously or unconsciously, so let's take a minute to breathe and go down memory lane of the things we COULD have done wrong. Was I ready for a relationship in the first place. One thing that people tend to forget is that you can never be happy in a relationship if you weren't happy being single, many of us have used relationships as an escape route for our unhappiness and sometimes some certain bad experiences that happened to us. Relationship is between two people and these two people must have dealt with whatever issue that could happened to them in the past, talk about it and move on a clean slate. If this is not done, trust me it will only take a short time before they both realize that something is wrong and most time (I tell you) it turns out very bad.
Also, many of us have asked ourselves, why do I keep meeting toxic people? Why do I keep meeting guys who abuse me? Why do I keep meeting girls who play me? Well, you keep meeting them because you attract toxic people, because you allow the way people perceive you to affect you, because you see yourself as damaged, irreparable and messed up and when these people come around you just fall foolishly in love with them and then you keep foolishly falling and falling. Take a breather and calm down. You have to know one thing, you are not perfect so also anybody who is going to be with you. You are not a damaged good because you were abused or because something happened to you, or because you are 'handicapped' don't go for anything that comes your way, set standards (not high ones o), be confident in yourself. Anyone who's going to accept who should be with you should be with you because they want you not because they have to 'accept' you.
Love yourself first before you love someone else because the truth is you cannot give what you don't have. Don't chase true love, pursue self love, take time to look at yourself and check your flaws, work on yourself thoroughly before you let your heart out to someone. Don't be pressured to go into anything whether marriage or relationships. If you have a very messy past, talk to the right people and seek help, also don't make the mistake of hiding it from the person you wish to be with. Look for someome to love you not pity you.
While you sleep at night and listen to those sad songs about not needing a man and how he/she left you, while you look at his/her picture and wish they were dead, take one or two minute to reflect on the possible mistakes you might have made that made the 'ship' collapse, because in a ship, it's not just about how big the ship (titanic collapsed), it is how those in the ship are able to control the ship in the time of storm and this could be done by leaving some excess baggage behind.
**it is not your fault you were abused, or sexually assaulted, anybody who can't deal with it should go**
Comments
Post a Comment